


Frequency

by ripitto



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:26:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22204057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ripitto/pseuds/ripitto
Summary: Long distance is tough. Really, really tough.
Relationships: Kai Toshiki/Sendou Aichi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Frequency

The door to the flat was tall and heavy. On the inside, the entrance was framed in metal with a second door of lined bars. Kai never locked the extra door, not as long as he planned to be back in the same day. It was still not very late. He had the afternoon off, and he'd bought some bread buns on the way home. He'd had an early lunch, and figured he would get hungry before dinner. The thin, crisp paper bag wasn't enough to keep his bread fresh for long. It was meant to be eaten right away, and Kai was particular about such details.

The apartment was old. The awkward layout was telltale of past times, how it originally had been built as a one floor flat about one century ago. In contemporary times brought a different sort of demand, dividing the apartments into many small living quarters. This was why Kai now lived here, where the ceilings were as high as the rooms were wide and the front door came with a metal barred inner gate. His kitchen was small, positively cramped, but comparatively modern. He had only a classic coffee press, but he was fond of it. The coffee they sold in the shops downtown was better, but he had reason to prefer the privacy of his room.

His bedroom was also his living room. The decoration was spartan, and among the objects that could be seen in his room, he owned very little. None of the furniture was his own and it was old, but the oldest pieces were only half as old as the house. The coffee was brewing, and he'd yet to cut the buns. Butter stood on the counter, left behind to soften. The door to his seldom used, less than generous balcony squealed agonizingly loud. The apartment had started to grow hotter as spring arrived. It got hot in the summers, cold in the winters; the glass on the windows was single layered. In that sense, it was like home.

He'd taken his phone out as soon as he got home. Now should be a good time. He paced in his tiny living space, waiting as the signals went through. He sidled outside through the balcony door. He grabbed the railing, but as his eyes fell on the street down below, his mind was elsewhere.

The signals kept going through. Aichi was not picking up. He usually would. If he was busy he'd just cancel the call, and send Kai a text in return. When the sound of what ought to have been the final signal rang out, the line finally picked up. "H-hello?" There was a rustle. "Kai?"

There was a drowsy quality to Aichi's voice. That was the only way he could describe it. "Did I... wake you up?"

Surely it shouldn't be that early, but at the same time, Kai knew Aichi was commonly a late riser. "No, no... I—" Aichi hesitated. He laughed nervously. "It's okay. I was just... laying down for a bit."

"...Is this a bad time?"

"It's fine, really." Aichi reassured him more convincingly. "Don't worry about it." Kai stood frozen on the balcony, the phone pressed to his ear. He called Aichi quite often. It still didn't feel like enough. "And, I mean... even if you had, then... I'd still like to talk to you." Aichi said to him warmly. Kai heard another rustle.

"I wanted to talk to you." Kai had looked forward to it as soon as he'd realized it would be possible.

"Yeah. ...M-me too." He admitted awkwardly. How strange, yet endearing.

"There was nothing to do today, so I went home early."

"There was nothing to do?" Aichi asked curiously.

"We're set for the next few months. The next stage in the series starts next week." Kai had told him that before. Had he forgotten already?

"Oh. Oh, right. I remember." Aichi sighed audibly, his words came out on an exhale.

"Neve is in out of town this week for that reason. And Gaillard is spending a few days visiting his family."

"Uh-huh..."

"So I'm alone at the moment."

"I, I see, that's... I hope you're not lonely." Aichi struggled to pay attention.

"That's alright..." Kai didn't mind. He could enjoy a change of pace, and he usually didn't mind being on his own, either.

"If I had some time off I'd come see you." Aichi replied, and Kai heard another rustle, louder than before.

"Yeah..." Kai indeed would like that.

"I wish I could..." Aichi groaned lightly. The bustle outside was faint. Kai felt his senses dull as he grappled with a vague recollection. It had been months ago, now. Sighing, Aichi said no more. Closing the balcony door behind him, Kai came back inside the apartment.

"When summer comes, I'll come see you."

"...Y-yeah." Strained, Aichi's voice cracked.

Kai was silent, and in his mind the thoughts ticked by slowly. Once the balcony door had locked shut into place with an unsettling creak, the ambience of the Parisian streets silenced, Kai thought to ask the question on his mind. "...Aichi, are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine, _I'm fine..."_ He naturally insisted. "Really." He did not sound fine, not quite. Not knowing how to voice the obvious, Kai instead said nothing. "Please go on. I'm listening." Aichi said, carefully. "How are you doing? Y-you're playing some important games next week, aren't you?"

"I am." He replied, plainly. Kai walked a few strides across the room to sit down on the edge of his bed.

"What's the, um," Aichi hesitated. He exhaled. "What's the prognosis?"

"We should do fine." Kai earnestly thought so. "No major names upcoming. Not yet. Still best to keep sharp."

"Right..."

"Anything else would be reckless." Kai reasoned. "And rude."

"Yeah..." Aichi said, though his voice was strangely hollow. Kai heard another rustle, and then another. He felt the walls of his cramped bedroom close in on him.

"We... we do research. But you never know." You could never truly predict the outcome of a game. That was the charm of Vanguard. You could also never foresee which players' potential could bloom out in the bigger leagues. Kai focused on himself first and foremost, but he also had to study the competition.

"Yeah, I mean... yeah." Aichi's breathy voice made it hard to think. Kai's hand laid on his thigh, his fingers curling against the fabric. Aichi did not follow up with any more questions. Kai, who was not a chatterbox himself, couldn't think of anything to say. Another rustle, and Kai heard Aichi press his lips together with a wince.

"...Aichi?"

"Y-yes?" He exhaled heavily, startled.

Kai reconsidered. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but he had questions. "...What are you doing?"

The other end went silent. No more rustling, and Aichi barely breathed. Kai said nothing more. He waited. "I, I..." Aichi's voice quivered nervously. "I-I'm sorry." Kai's hand still laid tense on his leg. "I... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He apologized sincerely, his voice cracking. "We'll hang up. And-and I'll call you back. I didn't mean to... I'm sorry." Kai stared ahead, but his thoughts were only on the sound of Aichi's voice. He hadn't gotten an answer, but he figured he'd still gotten more than enough. Kai could be clueless, but unmistakable was the heavy beat of his heart. His body was giving him the clues he needed. Absorbed, with his imagination running wild, Kai was frozen in place. "Let's... let's hang up." Aichi suggested anxiously. "If you give me a moment, I-I could... a-and..."

"That's fine." Kai replied, his voice quiet, dismissive.

"O-okay..." Aichi sounded humiliated, and no less apologetic. "I just, I thought..." Kai didn't want to hang up. He wanted to keep hearing Aichi's voice. Uncomfortably, he had no idea what to make of it. His heart ached. "I... I didn't mean to... it's just..." Aichi's voice was a quiet, uncertain whisper. "The dorm's always so busy. I don't have that much time to myself, and... I just... I couldn't help it. I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd call, but then you did, and, I just..."

Kai had planned to call, but he knew he usually didn't at this time of day. "I said it's fine." He replied, quietly, his focus failing him with the details added to Aichi's story.

Aichi swallowed hard. "R-right, but... I just..." The prolonged silence that followed did nothing to make Kai's beating heart settle. The closed balcony door let the daylight pour in, and Kai felt the sun's heat on his skin, stinging in his eye. In the kitchen, his coffee was brewing, the saturated taste of the brew becoming darker and more bitter with each passing moment of Kai's building frustration. The pipes were old, as was the building. The floorboards creaked quietly as Kai's feet shifted on the floor where he sat. From the faucet a small, single drop escaped the tap and fell into the drainage with a dull sound unheard in the living room.

Aichi exhaled the tense breath he'd been holding. "Kai...?" He asked eventually, carefully. When Kai didn't respond within the next few seconds, he became increasingly concerned. "...Kai?"

"I'm here." Kai replied, his voice cracking.

"...Are you sure you don't wanna hang up?" Aichi asked hesitantly.

He reconsidered. Kai had planned to call, and he'd been looking forward to it. He'd been looking forward to talking all week. Kai was not very talented in the arts of conversation, but he loved to hear Aichi speak, loved to hear his voice. Whatever he spoke of would always be worth listening to. Kai wanted to know of the things he experienced, the things he felt. He wanted to know them all. "...Yeah." Kai hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath.

"I... I don't..." Aichi fell silent.

 _"Keep—"_ It was hard to speak with next to no air in his lungs, and Kai's voice diminished into a strangled, weak whisper. _"Keep going."_

"...Y-you mean, you're—" Aichi had become too flustered to speak without stammering. "You're... alright with that...?"

"...Sure." Kai felt weak, and his eyes squeezed shut as a shiver ran through his body.

"R-right..." Aichi was still uncertain, Kai's request still not quite dawning on him. "I-if you don't mind, then..." Kai gripped the phone tighter. Part of him hadn't expected Aichi to agree. Part of him hadn't expected himself to have the courage to speak a single word, let alone say what was on his mind. On the other end, Aichi sighed heavily, thoughtfully. Kai heard the rustle of him shifting in bed and his imaginations came alive stronger with just that one spark. His hand still laid tense on his thigh.

"Where... where, was I..." Aichi swallowed, talking to himself, distracted. "Hang... on..." Kai listened, feeling lightheaded with expectation. He heard the same rustle, heard Aichi exhale as he settled. His heart was already pounding. Steadily, Aichi breathed, and Kai listened closely, straining his ears to pick up what he could, tension building his body. The memories that surfaced where that of Aichi in his arms, pressed close against him.

Aichi's lips pressed together to suppress a moan. Kai wished he wouldn't. He appeared to stop, suddenly, despite not having taken very long. "S-sorry, I..." Kai wished he wouldn't apologize, either. "I can't, quite, reach..." His simple words were more than enough in context. Kai felt his mouth watering. The sunlight was still burning hot on his skin. In the kitchen, his fresh and wheat buns laid unpacked, their softness slowly turning tough and hard. The butter knife had sunk into the softened butter, the edge of it sliding to a rest against the bottom of the container.

Aichi gasped, weakly. It settled with a low whine. Kai heard the covers around his body move with delicate rippling sounds, again and again in a slow rhythm that matched Aichi's steady breathing. He was zoning out, more and more, feeling the sounds like sensations resonating through his body, pooling in his gut. "I-I didn't mean to..." Aichi breathed, pausing, but Kai could still hear the fabric of the covers shaping themselves after his body. "B-be like this, I just..." He groaned. _"I miss you."_

Kai felt the strength drain from his legs. "I miss you too." He spoke on a hallowed whisper, his entire body tense.

Aichi sighed with delight. He laughed shorty, shallowly. "I just... I keep... thinking about you. It's been... too long."

"I think about you too." Kai admitted in a quiet, surging voice. Admitting to it only made his heart yearn stronger, matching the full magnitude of his feelings. "I think about you every day."

"...Really?" Aichi didn't ask because he doubted it. He wanted to know more, hear more.

"...Yeah, I..." Kai felt his body shiver. "I... do..."

"What do you think about?" Aichi asked, wondrous. He was breathing heavier.

"I..." Kai felt his head spin. He hadn't expected Aichi to ask. What _did_ he think about? "I keep... seeing things that remind me of you. Have thoughts I wish I could share... with you."

"Uh-huh..." A lovesick sigh left Aichi.

"And, I-I..." Kai was overwhelmed by his feelings as they receded, rebound and grew stronger. _"I miss you."_

Aichi moaned, fully, loudly, and it was the first time Kai had ever heard it through the phone. He sat frozen, and he felt hypersensitive, as if he could feel every point on his entire body all at once, the weight of the clothes on his skin, the cushioned mattress under his seat, the floorboards under his feet. Aichi moaned again, the yearning in his voice amplifying. Kai's fingernails dug into the fabric of his pant leg, and he stared hard ahead. "I miss how you hold me. And how you kiss me." Aichi's voice invoked in him, memories. Memories of Aichi's hot skin against his own.

"Me too."

"And, I... I just. I can't help it." Aichi said, a terribly nervous, yet excited tremor in his voice. Kai was hanging on to every word desperately, the implications making his imaginations rawer, and his arousal more so. "I can't stop... thinking about you... the things we do... how you m-make me feel."

The ground coffee had sunken to the bottom of the press, layering into a thick cake. Aichi cried out before his lips could seal away and muffle the sound. The sound rang out against Kai's ear, with the phone pressed so hard against the side of his face that the warmth of it radiated through his skin. Now panting, Aichi's voice had become louder. His excitement, his arousal had washed away his self-consciousness, and broken through his barriers. Kai had experienced it before. He knew what it looked like, sounded like. He knew what it felt like.

Aichi's wordless voice sounded through the microphone, against Kai's ear, just barely leaking out to be heard in the room. It didn't resonate, and to Kai the space of the room, the four walls and the high, high ceiling was like a hollow cage, unable to contain him and call his wandering, spellbound mind back to the present. "I want to... feel you." Aichi gasped. "On top of me. I-Inside... of me." His voice cracked with sadness, longing. "I can't... stop thinking about it."

Kai had thought about it too. He too longed, longed for the way their bodies fit together, for the way Aichi's hands would grasp at his bare back, the way Aichi would say his name. He had thought about it on lonely nights, about the residue of Aichi's touch on his skin—something he'd tried and failed to replicate—about the memories associated with the pleasure it gave him. It had felt wrong, despite everything. He'd worried, worried that masturbating while fantasizing about Aichi would taint and tarnish his feelings. Now, his lips were soundlessly parting for though he wished to speak, he didn't have the courage. With his heart rising in his chest, Kai wished to overcome it. The two of them were the same. He wanted to connect. He wanted to connect with Aichi more than anything. "I... think about it too." Once he overcame his fears, his voice was deathly quiet. "You... and me. Together."

"R-really?" Over his breathy reply Kai could hear louder the creasing of Aichi's covers, and more so the growing sound of the bed below him. Aichi's body was moving. By the sound of it, it was like a wave motion, rhythmic and fluid. "T-tell me."

Kai's lips pressed tight together without a sound. The blood drained from his head and his toes curled into his feet. He'd overcome his fears, but he was already being tested again. His memories, his imaginations, they were all so close to his heart, but he had no words for them. He'd paled, his stone faced expression slipping away. "...Kai?" Aichi breathed heavily still, and his voice was studded with the slightest hesitation. Kai knew that he had to do this, though he felt like he couldn't. If it was what Aichi wanted, he felt that he could be brave.

"I..." He sought, desperately, for words, his blood pressure rising. "I think about you... kissing me. Holding me." Kai breathed thinly. "Sitting... in my lap. Moving, rubbing... against me, u-until you..."

"Until... I get hard?" Aichi's lightheaded, breathy voice was doubtless compared to his own.

"Y-yeah." Kai could barely think, and though he'd just felt like he couldn't say a single word, he now felt overwhelmed as impressions flooded his mind. "And then... you undress me. You touch me, kiss me. You ask me... if it feels good." Aichi sighed, moaning. Kai's fingernails was scraping against the textured fabric of his pants, digging into his leg. "And then, you... y-you use your mouth, to..." Kai's voice cracked and he didn't recover. He tried to speak, but couldn't, his tongue weak and refusing to form the words.

"I-I blow you?" Aichi filled in with little hesitation, curious and eager to know.

"Yeah." Kai closed his eyes shut tight. "And... it feels... so good."

"I... I love it, too." Aichi's voice was weaker, on account of how he was panting. "I miss it. I _miss... it..."_

"And—" Despite how weak his voice was, despite how weak he felt, Kai was motivated by his own need to finish, his own need to fulfill Aichi's demand to hear of his fantasies. "And then you let me... do you. Put it in you."

"How?" Aichi asked, strangely demanding, a new sort of focus drawing into his voice. Kai's noticed, and felt his heart pounding. "From-from behind?"

"It..." His mind had frozen. Overlapping where his dreams, his fantasies. "It... depends. From behind. Or face to face. Or you're... on top of me."

 _"Oh,"_ Aichi's voice was cracking. "I like that. _I like that._ I like it from behind. But I also, I like... to ride you." They hadn't talked about this. They generally didn't talk much about sex. They would speak broadly, make decisions in the moment. Maybe that would change, from now on. Kai felt even dizzier thinking about that.

"Kai, _Kai..."_ His voice had grown louder. Kai knew what that meant. He and Aichi didn't talk much about sex, but they'd made love enough times for him to be able to tell when Aichi was coming. Whining, Aichi moved, and Kai could hear the bed under him caving to his movement, creaking. Aichi cried out, moaning with a heavy breath. Kai could understand why he rather be alone in the dorms, and when he thought about Aichi's voice sounding through the walls of the empty living quarters, his blood pressure only seemed to rise. His lips pressed tight together, he listened. He listened, straining his ears to hear each and every little sound Aichi made on the other end. "I'm coming," Aichi's voice was breathless, strained. It was not a moment too soon. _"I'm coming."_

"A-Aichi..." Kai's lips quivered and Aichi's name left him on a weak, deep whisper. It was but a reflex, and as it did Aichi whined, his voice trembling. Then, he breathed, a deep, long breath and Kai heard a thump, a final creak of Aichi's bed as his body came to rest.

He'd finished. Kai could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and the fierce grip on the phone in his hand had come to hurt his joints. Aichi was catching his breath, and with a pleased, tired sigh he exhaled, laying perfectly still. Kai was in a world of raging emotions, passion and desperation, loneliness and longing. His throat had dried up, and he was even more hyper aware than before. His clothes felt heavy on his body, and his knees felt weak. In a moment, he heard Aichi scramble back to life. "S-sorry, I... I'm a bit out of it..."

"That's alright." Kai said, his dry voice barely coming out.

"I, I gotta..." Aichi gave a light groan. The covers rustled. "T-there..." Kai clenched his jaw tight in place. Aichi breathed a sigh of relief. Speaking to himself, his voice was only an indistinct mumble. _"It... it came out..."_ Kai's hand laid clenched tight on his thigh. He felt like he could barely breathe. "Sorry..." Kai wasn't sure what Aichi was apologizing for this time. He was too lightheaded to connect any dots. "Thank you, though. For... sticking around. It..." He hesitated. "It really... helped."

"Don't mention it." Kai's voice was quiet and tense.

"I... I feel much better." Aichi admitted. "S-so I really appreciate it." Kai couldn't phantom an answer. Aichi laughed quietly, nervously. "What... would you like to, I mean..."

Kai knew that he had to find some sort of resolve. He'd yet to give up on his dignity, but he was rapidly losing his patience. _"Aichi, I..."_ Aichi had become quiet as Kai's voice, colored with frustration and desperation made his feelings known. Kai still hesitated. He still wasn't sure if he was capable of this. He breathed shakily for a moment, before stopping, holding his breath.

Patient, Aichi waited. Kai found no resolve, but there was comfort in knowing Aichi would be patient. He couldn't be proud, not at a time like this. He could only be honest. "Aichi, I..." His voice was still shaking. His whole body felt like it was quivering with tension. "I'm really hard right now."

"O-okay..." Aichi replied. "I-I mean, I see." He was trying to assess the situation, too. Up until now he'd felt like his head was drained, but now Kai felt his face heat up something terrible. "What would you like to...?" Aichi asked him carefully. Kai found to his horror that he had nothing to say, and yet he was overwhelmed by the knowledge that there was only one thing he wanted, only one thing that would sate his aching heart and pounding groins.

When Kai said nothing, his courage exhausted, Aichi came to his aid. "I could... stay. And listen. Like you did for me." The kindness and sweetness of his voice made Kai feel like he was on the verge of breaking. "If you want to." Kai knew what he wanted, but when he tried to speak, he couldn't. "Or, if-if you'd rather we hang up and talk more later, then..."

Kai felt his mind scramble in panic. "N-no." He managed to get out, quietly.

"Okay." Aichi was nervous, too, though to Kai he felt like an unrelenting source of courage. "So you want me to stay?"

Kai nodded, and realizing Aichi could not see it, his response came out of him like a nervous reflex. "Yes."

"Alright." Aichi exhaled his reply, and Kai realized that he was excited, too. It helped, even if only because it distracted him from the sorry state he was in himself.

Kai's clenched fist was unraveling, and with it he pressed down on his thigh. They'd never done anything like this before. Kai had never thought, never imagined that he'd be in this situation. For Aichi, it had come naturally with a little encouragement. He'd been unable to resist, already before then. Kai knew that when he was aroused, when he was feeling good, Aichi could display a surprising amount of courage and boldness. He admired that. He admired Aichi so, and for so many reasons. It was but one of many things he loved about him, but it made him feel lacking in confidence by comparison. Kai knew he mustn't feel that way. He wanted to be inspired. Though, when he felt as tender as he did right now, it was difficult. Things wouldn't align. With the prolonged silence, Aichi sought to encourage him. "Go on. I'll listen." Kai's hand had slid to rest against the inside of his thigh. "Do you... want me to talk to you?"

Kai thought no such thing would calm him, but it might just excite him enough to push him over the edge and end his suffering. "Sure." Kai whispered.

"Okay. Um..." Aichi was thinking. "You did it for me, so I... I guess I could talk about the-the things I like..." Kai truly felt like he hadn't done much. He'd barely gotten more than a few sentences out. He was under too much pressure to speak of that now, and let Aichi decide as he saw fit.

"Sure." Kai replied, his delivery anything but casual, his vocabulary depleted.

"You... you remember last time, right?" Aichi spoke airily. "I've thought a lot about... last time." Kai certainly remembered. "We went out on the town. We took a long walk by the river. You took me to your usual place for lunch. It was just... a quiet day, but I had really fun. Then, took me home and you made me dinner..."

"Onglet."

"Yeah..." Kai would remember the food if anything. Regardless, it was far from his mind. "You were really forward that night. A... a lot more so than usual."

Kai wasn't sure if he'd say that himself, but Aichi's perspective mattered to him. "I'd... really missed you."

"We were kissing. And you held my hand. I hadn't even touched you... but you were already hard." Aichi's voice had grown quieter, and he spoke dreamily. Kai blushed, for he could remember it so well, too. "It made me so excited." Aichi sighed. "And, it made me really happy. It always does. When I can tell... you want me."

"I want you." His mind slipping, Kai spoke more readily than he had the whole time.

"I know, but... it still makes me happy." A short and quiet laugh nervously left Aichi on the other end. "The way you... press close to me. Hold on to me. Like, last time, when... you got on top of me, and pressed me down on the bed—" Aichi spoke of the very same bed Kai was sitting on right now. Kai's hand had lightly started moving, pressing gently against the inside of his thigh. "And we continued to kiss. The whole time, I... I could feel you rubbing against me." Aichi's own focus faltered, at the end. "The whole time, I... I was just thinking about how I wanted to touch you. Make you feel good."

Kai's body shuddered when he felt his erection through the fabric of his pants. He breathed heavier, his desires still nagging him in his mind. He wondered if Aichi could tell. "How I wanted to use my hands... touch you, jerk you off. Blow you." Aichi's voice was diminishing. He sighed longingly. "I really like that. Using... my mouth, I mean..."

"I... I like it when you do it, too." Kai felt his barriers break down, one by one. 

"You feel so close to me." Aichi said, breathily. "And I can tell... exactly how good you feel." Kai's hand now moved, and he pressed down, firmer. He grunted, weakly, squeezing his eyes shut. "And... and I can tease you a bit..." Aichi admitted, and Kai could hear the smile on his lips. "Try to... make you last longer..."

Kai wondered if Aichi could hear the faint sound of his hand rubbing against the stretched fabric of his pants. He'd gone quiet for a short second. Kai was already too far in to stop, even as his self-consciousness threatened to apprehend him again. He was zoning out.

"And you get so shy." Aichi spoke to him adoringly. "It's so cute." Kai knew he would get shy, more so when Aichi would make it all about him. He hadn't realized Aichi enjoyed that. "Last time though, I... I really wanted to do it proper. And I could tell you did, too." Aichi sighed. "I... I wanted you inside me so badly." Kai felt himself throb. He didn't stop. "The... the way you moved, I... I can't stop thinking about it. I keep... thinking about it." Aichi admitted as he became increasingly flustered. "The way you held me, pressed into me, moving your hip..." Kai remembered too, and he did so now more vividly than ever before.

"You're always so gentle. And I love that." Aichi was lovesick, longing. "I know how kind and... how caring you are." Kai felt dizzy. He was desperate again, already. "But... but when you move like that, I..." Aichi sighed, deeply.

Panting, and feeling all the more needy, Kai no longer hesitated. He couldn't afford it, or he'd lose his sanity. "I—" His breath caught in his throat, Kai regardless didn't have much of any coherent thoughts in his mind. "Hang... _on..."_ Stressed and torn, Kai struggled more to undo his pants with one hand than he normally would. With only just enough space to slip his hand in against his bare skin, he would have to be satisfied. A gasp at his own touch was normally unheard of, and though he'd worried he wouldn't be able to go through with it, all it took was a single stroke and he was captivated.

Aichi exhaled. "A-are you..."

 _"Yeah."_ Kai replied with his deep voice. He stroke himself fast, but his grip was still loose.

"I... I can hear it." Aichi replied, quiet and focused. Kai felt his words like a shiver of pleasure. Breathing, Kai did not slow down. He'd come this far, and he was determined to finish. "I wish I could be there, a-and do it for you..." Aichi said, quietly. "Instead of..."

"It's always you, Aichi." Kai whispered, earnest and tender. "It's always... about you." Aichi sighed shakily. "Whether you're here or not, whether you touch me or-or not... it's always about you." Aichi did not speak, and Kai was too focused to think about anything but the pleasure. His grip on his phone had gone lax, and it rested against the side of his head. "I miss you." Kai repeated Aichi's words, echoing his sentiment, his feeling. "I miss... seeing you. Every day."

"You know I miss it too." Aichi replied sadly.

"I should have... I..." Kai breathed, his mind so dizzy the words would only come together so well. "I should have... made more out of it. All the time we could have had together." The sound of skin against skin, the rustle of fabric was becoming more defined. Kai's voice was quiet and tense. "I wanted you, for so long, but I... I couldn't tell you." Kai's emotional, regretful tone shattered with a groan of pleasure.

"Don't say that, I... I know... it was hard. And I... I still treasured it. The times we had." Aichi comforted him. Kai felt his heart ache.

"I loved you. But I was... a coward..." Kai gasped, moaning. His grip became tighter. "You-you make me so..." Panting, Kai still felt compelled to speak even as his voice failed him. Deep, coarse and studded with frustration, it sounded again. _"Aichi. I..._ I was obsessed with you..." He groaned. "B-but I couldn't even talk to you..."

"Kai, you know how I feel... I..." Aichi insisted, despite his voice faltering, too. "I only ever wanted you to... like me. Want... me."

"I want you." Kai said, again. It had been so hard for him to speak. Now, he found it hard to stay quiet. _"I want you."_

Over the sound of his own breathing, Kai heard Aichi's quiet affirmation. "I want you, too."

Leaning backwards where he sat, his eyes rising up on the wall, Kai found more space to move, his pants sliding off his hips bit by bit. _"Aichi..."_ He mumbled, dreamily.

"I still think about... the first time you let me touch you." Aichi whispered. The memory returned to him, and though it usually would have been terribly awkward to recall, Kai felt a singe of pleasure burn through his already feverish body. Aichi had been the first to touch him. Not the other way around. "I was so nervous. B-but also really happy and-and... excited." There was a more than light tremor in his voice. "You'd been hard before, but... I finally got to touch you and... feel you... get harder as I..." Aichi was too shy to finish.

"I remember." Kai replied breathlessly. "You were... staring."

Aichi laughed, lightly, embarrassed. "Yeah, I... I mean... I tried not to, but... it was so much bigger than mine, and I just..."

"I like... yours." Kai said carefully. "You have... a pretty dick."

Aichi laughed again, more earnestly than before. Kai felt the tension start to drain out of him. "I don't know about that..." Aichi said, smiling.

Kai smiled, too. "You do."

"Maybe. But I like yours better. I feels so good."

"It feels good... for me too." Something had let up. Kai drew deeper breaths. He moaned, again. "I... I remember the first time you asked me to... put it in you."

"Oh. Yeah... I was dying to... to try it." Aichi sounded embarrassed about it still. "I'd... prepared for such a long time..." He sighed, heavily. "Touching... myself."

Aichi had never told him that. Kai's mellow state of comfortable pleasure would end soon, too. "And in the end..." Kai exhaled. "I couldn't... make you come."

"It was... our first time." Aichi said, quietly. "And you... you made it up to me, right?"

"I hope so." Kai was panting. His hip shuddered.

"How... are you doing?" Aichi asked, curiously. Kai could tell it had been on his mind.

"Good." Kai replied shortly, his head spinning. "It feels... _good."_

"Are you close?"

Aichi's words made him feel like he would be, instantly. "I... I think so." Kai's voice was shaking, his body tensing more and more again.

"You don't have to hold back." Aichi's voice was so pouring and clear, Kai felt like he might go crazy.

"I... I know..." He replied weakly.

"Kai, I... I'd... I'd like to hear you... go faster." Aichi's voice became breathy again, like it had before. Kai couldn't resist it. He did not reply, his lips pressing together tight as he fulfilled Aichi's request. As guilty as he'd felt about it, it wasn't like Kai was a stranger to masturbating. Never before had he touched himself quite so furiously. He breathed, panting, his mind on Aichi's presence, his face, the memories of the love they'd made in the past, and his dreams of the love he hoped they'd make in the future. "Yes. Just... just like that." Aichi encouraged him, admiringly.

 _"A-Aichi..."_ Hardly had his voice been so weak before. "Aichi."

"...Are you coming?"

_"Yes."_

Kai felt his patience wear paper thin, his body strained beyond his limits, only for it all to let up in the ecstatic relief of his climax within the next seconds. On the other end, Aichi heard him gasp, groan and fall into silence, leaving only the sound of his rugged breathing. The silence lingered. Kai felt like he could barely think. Amidst that, his high slowly wore off, and he was no longer numb to his surroundings or the full circumstances of what had just happened. He couldn't help the troubled sigh that left him as he slumped forward. The piping fresh memories of Aichi complimenting his penis were less exciting and more cripplingly embarrassing as soon as he'd gone soft.

"Kai?" Aichi's voice rang out innocently despite it all and Kai was deeply fascinated by that.

"Yes?" Kai's normal tone, now unfamiliar, cut through to himself as strongly as it did to Aichi.

"Are you alright?"

Kai considered that debatable, but it was best to move forward. "I'm... fine." He was still breathing quite hard.

"I hope it was good?"

It had been good, but Kai felt bad for he hadn't been able to do as much for Aichi. "It... it was good." He mumbled. "Really good. Thanks to... to you."

Aichi laughed softly. "It was good for me thanks to you, too."

"I... I hope so." Kai felt disoriented with how sharply and quickly reality had returned to him. He'd been too high, too aroused in the end to think clearly, and though he normally wouldn't let it happen he'd finished quite messily. His shirt would need to go in the laundry basket, and he should double check his pants, too. With his high dwindling, Kai's heart came to ache with the same, unchanging sentiment. "I... I still miss you, though." For a moment he'd forgotten. Aichi had felt so close to him.

"Yeah..." Aichi said quietly. "Me too." Kai sighed, wistfully, still painfully embarrassed and awkwardly stuck where he sat for his legs wouldn't move. For a lingering moment, they sat in silence. "So, um... what were we talking about?" Aichi asked, equally awkward, but still curious to hear what else Kai had to say, and have the phone call as he'd intended.

Kai's mind was blank, but he attempted to find his way back to reality. It would do him good. He didn't want to hang up, either. He still had more things he wanted to talk about. He still craved Aichi's presence, and he hoped it may soothe him and his aching heart.

He'd become hungry, more so than he'd expected. In the kitchen, after their dragged out conversation finally ended with Aichi having to go to class, Kai emptied out the entire coffee press into the sink. He watched as the ground coffee beans mixed with water from the tap and washed away down the drain. He hadn't bothered to taste. It would be undrinkable. Lukewarm and over-brewed coffee wasn't something he'd subject himself to. The butter was soft, and he feared he'd ruined it. He still put it back in the fridge after cutting and buttering his bread. He couldn't afford to throw it all away.

He made a quick cup of tea to replace his ruined coffee, and sat down by his desk to eat. The bread was tougher than he would have liked, but it was edible. As he was eating, his phone buzzed. It was Aichi.

_Hi, how are you feeling? We don't have to talk about today if you don't want to, but... if you'd like, I wouldn't mind trying it again some time..._

It seemed like the events had caught up with Aichi too, though later rather than sooner. Kai thought about how he felt, which was awfully and terribly embarrassed, but realized it didn't matter. Now that he'd tried it, now that the option was there, he knew that it happening again was inevitable. The sun was hot on his skin through the windows but summer was still quite far away. They wouldn't see each other again for weeks.

_I'm fine. I assume it will happen, again. As long as I miss you_

_Which, is all the time_

Kai set his phone aside. The bread was still tough, and he still felt raw and drained, and the ground coffee was still staining his sink in the kitchen. He'd changed his shirt, burying the old one deep into the laundry basket where it could not be seen. As for Aichi's proposed _next time_ , he was already thinking about it, dreading it, longing for it.

**Author's Note:**

> If the dirty talking is too awkward, I blame it on trying my best to keep it in character. Sorry :(
> 
> Thank you for reading


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